“The day I saw her, I and her father were so confused. We did not feel anything. We were confused and did not know what feeling we were supposed to feel, but after we walked from there, we felt that we missed her greatly and our hearts got attached to her.” I am Marwa Hafez, and I went for kafala after 21 years of marriage without children. I presented it to my husband and he initially refused, but when he learned about the issue of breastfeeding and that the presence of a girl would no longer be forbidden or haram, he agreed that we would go for kafala. We made this decision in June 2021, and we began the journey of preparing the papers and submitted them on the 4th of July, 2021. The day of submitting the papers coincided with the day of Misk’s birth, and the procedures and approvals took about nine months. I swear it was like a pregnancy period. I was suffering during these nine months because I saw my daughter when she was 3 months old. Security check took a long time. I wanted to have her right away because she was sick in the hospital. I used to travel to Minya every 15 days for nine months until I received her on the 17th of March. It was only 4 days before Mother’s Day. It was as if God was comforting my heart and her father’s with her beautiful presence. It was as if my life started again. On that day, Misk came to our place, and we were preparing a party to welcome her. My sisters and my family were all happy. A week after we received her, we held a big party for her in a large hall. We invited all our beloved friends, friends of our friends, relatives and neighbors. All of them were happy and it was a day that we still talk about to this day. Praise be to God, it has been a year since Misk got in my life, and this is the year in which I was born. Every Mother's Day, I hold you in my arms, and every day I hold you in my arms is a Mother’s Day for me. May God not deprive me of her or her presence in our lives, me and her father’s.

I will talk about the first time I got married and discovered that my husband and I had a problem with having children. Of course, we suffered a lot from people’s words and their looks. We had enough of people’s talk like “Work to keep yourself occupied” or “Did you find any treatment? Poor you” or “When will you have children?!” I will never be able to forget the words of my mother-in-law on my third wedding anniversary when she told us that she has been waiting for three years already to have a grandchild. This till one day I knew about kafala and I didn’t know that this is an available option in Egypt. When I asked people about this topic, they told me that there is no such thing as adoption, which is forbidden! But if you were to do kafala, you would only support financially and visit them. I was close to despair and began to really think about divorce. At least I would remain single and no one would think why she had no children. Until I came across a video on YouTube of a Kuwaiti family who had their son, and I was surprised that in There is something called kafala. I started searching social media about kafala until I found that there is actually something called kafala that exists in Egypt. I started reading the stories of kafala mothers and found myself with more than one mother, and we became very close friends. They talked to me a lot about their sons and daughters. They were honest with me about their feelings, how noble and sincere they were, and they really made me change my mind completely. At first, I wanted kafala to get rid of people talks and save my marriage, but they helped me to be convinced that sponsorship is not like that, and when I decide to do kafala, I will because I really liked the idea of kafala. I liked the idea that you save a child who is alone without a home, a mother, or a father. I liked the idea that kafala is a guaranteed door to heaven, and the kafala mother and father are the prophet’s neighbors in heaven. I liked the idea that I shouldn’t care about what people say. I will do kafala so that my son or daughter can live with me and be blessed by their presence. And I actually spoke to my husband. We have begun the procedures. First, we were afraid because the matter involved insurance, accounts, and government papers, but every step we took went smoothly. We spent two months completing the procedures, and the awaited moment came. I will not lie to you. I wish it was a girl, and I even chose her name and arranged the room for her with drawings and colors of pink and so on. We went to the Orman House, and we spoke to the director of the house, who shocked us that there were no girls for kafala now, only boys. My husband’s reaction wasn’t positive. It seemed like he didn’t like that there are no girls for kafala. I acted like I am not affected by his reaction, and I returned to the director. And I told her that I wanted to see the children. Frankly, she very much welcomed my decision, and in my husband’s eyes there were the words that I could not say: “Didn’t we agree that we would have a girl?” We entered the room, and the mothers in the house began to bring the children, and my heart beat very fast at seeing those beloved angels. Seven children, each of them one of them is four months old. I was sad by the thought that these children are left out. I felt that I wanted to hug them and tell them that I love you and will not abandon you, but then I came back to reality and found that unfortunately the law and my ability only allow me to sponsor one child. All this while I completely forgot about my husband, so when I looked for him, I found him sitting on a chair carrying one of the children. I was surprised. My husband was crying while holding this baby. I barely see my husband cry. I went to him, stroked him, and told him, “How do you feel?” He felt the same as me. He thought of how much he loved all these children and was sad that he would not be able to help them all. Then he wiped away his tears and kissed the boy and returned him to the mother who was carrying him, and thanked the director of the orphanage and said, “I wanted to do kafala for a girl. I am sorry”. The director was a very respectable woman who appreciated our decision. She gave us the address of another branch of the house. She had information that it had 3 girls from which we could choose our daughter. We thanked her and went to the second branch. Despite the feelings of sadness that we felt at the house, we were very excited, because we felt that we were very close to picking up our daughter. We entered the house and spoke to the director and we explained the situation to her, and we went out to see the girls. Three beautiful girls were three months, four months, and six months old. We loved them very much and took them away and tried to create a bond of feelings with each one of them, but despite my intense love for them, I did not feel that I was a mother to any of them. I began to doubt myself. My friends told me that as soon as I held the child, I would feel that she was my daughter. I started to get nervous and looked at my husband, who understood me right away, and I found him saying to me: “We will not take a child who we do not feel is our daughter. We can go to another house”. The director caught up on the matter and asked us to see the boys. We told her, “We want a girl.” I found that she responded with such a smile, and asked us again to see the boys. We agreed with her, just out of desperation on our part. They started bringing the boys. Two beautiful boys, but I still don’t feel anything towards any of them. I started to cry, so my husband took my hand and asked the director if those are all the children they have or not. She said yes. He said, “Okay, we are sorry that we have bothered you.” While he was still walking, we found one of the mothers coming out with a blanket wrapped around her arm, and no baby parts could be seen from it, no hand, no leg, no head. The blanket seemed to be empty, and I found her saying, “Come on and see who was hiding in the bed,” and she brought it to me. I put the blanket in my arms, unfolded it and looked to find the sweetest thing I have ever seen in my entire life. My son, the first thing I said when I saw him. His features were not visible because of how much he was tiny. I was so happy that I unconsciously started showing my love for the baby. My husband kept thanking God and he was extremely happy that we finally found our son. Hamza was very young. He was 7 days old, and we had to wait until he was three months old so we could take him (the old kafala laws). Three months went by like three years. I visited him every day, and I cried every time I had to leave him. I bought him tiny clothes, and I started a milk production course with a lactation doctor so that I could breastfeed him. We told our family and kept taking pictures of him. My mobile phone was filled with pictures and videos of Hamza. Until the big day came, the day I get to have Hamza. I prepared his clothes, then I breastfed him. Finally, you will be with me, Hamza. I won’t have my heart ache again on leaving you on every visit. I can see you all the time and take you in my arms. May God bless you, my beloved son.

My story with sponsorship began more than seven years ago, when Muhammad and I sponsored our only son, Mustafa. When I was young, I dreamed of having many children, but I couldn’t because I discovered that I had endometriosis, which is a chronic disease that makes pregnancy rates very low. I got married and traveled to America, changed my career from tourism, and directed my interest and studies to children, and then opened a nursery. I did not lose hope in becoming a mother and entered the cycle of artificial insemination for 20 years. I tried it 4 times. This period consumed me financially and psychologically and ended up with my divorce in 2004, so that I could begin a new chapter in my life after that. In 2012, my life changed 180 degrees after I met Muhammad al-Iraqi and we got married. Although he has two daughters from a previous marriage, I did not object at all to the idea of kafala, which I learned about from my friend’s sister by chance. He knew that my whole life was for children, and that I had never forgotten my dream of being a mother. With him, I started looking around and asking to find out everything about kafala in Egypt. It took us a whole year to finish the papers and procedures, and finally it became possible for us to do kafala a child. I was terrified and asked myself a lot, I wonder if I can be responsible? Will I be able to raise a child and play with him when I am 45 years old? Should I continue on my own and not pursue the dream of motherhood? In the end, Muhammad's encouragement and my desire to be a mother won, and we began to go around the orphanages to choose our son. At first, I was dreaming that we would have a beautiful girl who would look like me and Muhammad. Over the past years, I had been collecting girls’ clothes in the hope that God would honor me. I was looking for a girl in FACE Maadi. I thought that I would be overwhelmed the first time I saw her, but that did not happen. I saw a girl who looked like us. I decided to wait when I found out that there was a girl and a boy coming tomorrow. I decided that I would come again tomorrow to see the girl, but when I saw her, unfortunately, she appeared blonde and her eyes were blue, not like us at all. For a moment, I lost hope that I would find the child I dreamed of, but the surprise was when I looked at the boy with his eyes wide open. My heart skipped a beat, and I knew that this was my son. I kept carrying him for five hours, feeding him and changing his diapers. I was afraid someone else would take him, and I remained behind them until they changed the baby’s name instead of the girl I was settled on . When I told my husband, my family, and my friends that I had chosen a boy, no one believed me. They all knew that I was having a girl, but this is what happened. My son, Mustafa was my beautiful destiny. I wanted to live the full experience of motherhood. I started an artificial breastfeeding course. When we took Mustafa home, my life was complete. Finally, I had the one thing I ever wanted. When Mustafa entered my life, my life was complete with his presence. Even though I gained weight and my fear and anxiety increased for him and his future, I was happy with the experience, and I knew that kafala is not easy, but it is worth it. All the time looking at his face, I smile and wonder to myself, what did I do to deserve this amazing gift?. After 4 months, we traveled to America again, carrying with us the newest member of our small family. We had to go through other procedures because Mustafa’s papers are not done yet. I believe in complete honesty, and that is why I share my experience with all people in the family, at work, and on social media. That is why I created the page “Sponsor a child in your home, adoption story in Egypt” Things escalated and we have a website about all you need to know about kafala in English and Arabic too. Not only that, we also formed a non-profit organization called Yalla Kafala in California and in Egypt. People started getting aware of kafala. This is not just a story of Rasha and an ordinary page on Facebook, we became a large team of volunteers who helped with whatever they could to deliver the idea. We help more children and families live the dream of motherhood. Mustafa himself wishes that we have other children, and if I had known about kafala early on, I would have more children. That’s why people in Egypt need to have greater awareness about the issue in order to help more children, and this is what we are trying to do now through Yalla Kafala.